Dear Santa,
 I am 8 months old, will be 9 months right after Christmas, and I write because my mother has been buying me all these gifts and telling my family members stuff to buy me, and she is so wrong about the things I really want.  I could give two diaper fulls about receiving clothes in the next size up and talking remotes.
And I know you’re ready to make the joke about babies and how all we want is to eat the wrapping paper and boxes.  Very funny Santa, good one!   We do, of course, enjoy those things.  But my dad owns a clothing company I have full access to that stuff all day everyday! 
My list is enclosed below.  In all seriousness this stuff better be under the tree Christmas morning or I will eat every single cookie my mom leaves for you for future Christmas'. 
-Brayden Matthew Morris

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What I want for Christmas

1.) These Keys
Nothing cuts teeth better than these metal keys!
I love my options too if I want to chew on rubber, 
plastic or metal. It can be pointy or square! 
Don't even bother sending me a set of plastic keys. 
I'm not an idiot I know the difference. 


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2.) This Power Strip and Cords
I want these cords more than anything I have ever wanted! 
Every time I try to play with them mom takes me away and I 
kick and scream. The orange on and off button and the variety
of different colored cords are a gift from god! Please, I want them.
They are located under the front desk where mom always sits.


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3.) This Stack of Shirts
There is nothing I enjoy more than thrashing
around a clean stack of shirts that Uncle Josh
just printed! Talk about endless opportunity of fun!
Not only do I get to throw them, swing them and trample
them to the ground. I love to chew on them! ALL MINE! 


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4.) This Endless Roll of Fun

I have no clue why mom will never let me play with 
this! It is clearly "child safe" and lets face it, it would
entertain me for hours. No crying for hours... you'd 
think mom would be all for that! 


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6.) This Fountain and Plant Soil
One time I threw Sofie the Giraffe into the bottom 
of the fountain and mom didn't find it for a week!
I love baths and that fountain is one step from a bath.
Actually, its better because Mom doesn't have to undress me and plant soil, what kid doesn't love dirt! That pot is 
and endless pit of dirt that I love to stick my hands in
and than touch everything in the store when mom isn't 
looking! The problem is that every time I try to play with these amazing toys mom quickly wisps me away. Santa I would like to have my very own fountain and plant pot in my nursery!


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7.) This Metal Contraption

I could spend hours digging and staring at this amazingly mysterious metal contraption! I love to poke my fingers in it and try to dig. Every time I think I am getting somewhere mom comes over to kill my vibe as always. The doctor told her I would start to be more clingy, SUCH A LIE. I want her to stop trying to hold and cuddle me. I can't wait for this new baby to arrive so she will stop treating me like i'm still an infant. I want to crawl, climb and explore everything but I can't do any of that with her constantly telling me "NO"! 


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8.) Eyeglasses
My personal favorite pair belong to my mother but I love to grab these off every four eyed stranger that comes my way. Sadly they grab them back from me just as fast and I am left empty handed. So for the 8th item on my Christmas List I would love to have my very own pair of eyeglasses! 



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9.) TAGS
Nothing aggravates me more than the fact that there are an endless supply of these soft and chewable tags laying all over the store yet I can not even have ONE to chew on! All I am asking is that there please be a few of these thingys in my stocking on Christmas Morning. You know how much you like your cookies santa? Well THESE ARE MY COOKIES and I want them, now. 



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10.) Cement Crater 
Now Santa, I know this one might be a little hard for you to get because this crater isn't really a thing that I can have seeing as it's in the floor of my Dads store. Maybe you could make sure that my room or even A room in our new house possibly have a similar crater? I am only asking because I want this crater like Martin Luther King Jr wanted equality. Like Gandhi wanted peace. Like... Dad wants mom to stop having headaches at night. Get how much I want this? 


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11.) My Very Own Luckless Hat
Clearly these are all mine since someone put them in my reach but Mom doesn't think so. I take the time to crawl all the way over to the shelf and pick my favorite hat, or two, or three and just when I go to mark my territory with saliva and some left over oatmeal *ZIPP* out of my hands it goes and in my high chair I'm placed. Now you can see how this gets annoying real fast. That's why I would like my very own Luckless Hat. To eat, obviously. 


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12.) Box of Hangers
FORGET THE POOL OF BALLS, I want a box of hangers! Balls are okay and all but they are round. Now lets think about this... I don't know how to walk yet and crawling is fun but it's a lot of hard work and after a while my hands and knees hurt. Why would I want to chase around a bunch of balls? Whose idea was it to make them round!? This is why I decided that I want a box of hangers. They don't roll away and they are perfect to chew on. Best. Toy. Ever! 



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There are many more items I want but I'll let you get away with just 12. I have a birthday right around the corner and Grandma always gives me what I want. 



Lots of Love and Slobber,
Brayden Matthew Morris 


Inspired by theuglyvolvo
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