Wrote by a Mother of Two under Two

1) Every nice meal you eat is either started, interrupted by or ends with changing a poopy diaper. 

2) You know the songs AND WORDS to every cartoon show that comes on. 

3) You wash any dishes in the bottom drawers multiple times due to your little one constantly pulling them out and onto the floor. *In my case it's tubberware and the pots & pans. 

4) You can carry a toddler, a baby in a car seat, your purse, the baby bag and your dog on a leash at once to avoid the simple task of taking two trips. 

5) You either have to wake up early or take a speed shower during nap time in order to get ready for the day. And when I say early... I mean EARLY.

6) If your child has been sleeping more than 3 hours during their nap or wakes up late you don't feel relieved. Your worried ass goes to check and see if they are still breathing. 

7) You notice you are becoming socially awkward when it comes to having conversations with anyone other than your kids, your spouse and other moms. 

8) Talking about your child's poop becomes a regular conversation. 

9) Your diet consists of what your 1 year old eats. 

10) Shaving your legs isn't avoided... it's simply forgotten. 

11) Leaving the house without the kids to go grocery shopping or better yet shopping for yourself is like taking a cruise to the Bahamas. 

12) Poop on your hand isn't really a big deal... you just wipe it off with a wet wipe and wash your hands when your done changing the diaper. 

13) You spend most of your day in your pajamas and get dressed before your spouse gets off of work. 

14) You use wet wipes to clean up everything in the house. 

15) You have been watching the Christmas Mickey Movie on repeat since the beginning of October. 

15) Your true friends understand that you're not ignoring them even though you haven't responded to their texts in days. You are simply going as crazy as a crackhead without a lighter. 

16) You finally got both the kids to sleep after a long day and your loved one is giving you bedroom eyes and all you're thinking about is a hot bubble bath and sleep.

17) You rarely leave the house and when you do you have to be mentally prepared for the task.

18) You pick your child's nose in public. 

19) You fend off other crazy advice giving mom on a daily basis. 



  1. So true about the poop! Lmfao!



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